


Dear Diary

by NinjaFairy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Narcissism, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Tom Riddle's Diary, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 15:29:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13883751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinjaFairy/pseuds/NinjaFairy
Summary: Tom Marvolo Riddle is a symbolic little shit and he likes to write in his diary about it.[Series of drabble diary entries written by Tom. Mostly Tomione-centric.]





	1. Senses

**Author's Note:**

> This is the only note that I will write. I've randomly decided to start writing Tom Riddle diary entries for absolutely no damn reason other than I want to. They will be drabbles. Some will be Tomione themed, some won't. Some will be Rated-M, some won't. Some will have sexually explicit material, some won't. Some will make sense, some won't. Two things I can guarantee: they will not be in any consecutive order - I'll just write them as they come to me and they will be filled with dark poetic/symbolic bullshit. Enjoy.

_Dear Diary,_

_She’s left me.  
_

_I hate her for it._

_**I**  hate myself for it._

_I **can**  still recall everything about her - every detail, every sound, every scent, every touch._

_And I wish I could forget._

_I want to forget, but that would be impossible now; wouldn’t it?_

_She’s taste; she’s sight; she’s sound; she’s smell; she’s touch. Wouldn’t forgetting her be abandoning all five of my senses?_

_And you know what? I miss the agony of before - of her being just out of my reach. I miss the suffering I endured keeping her at arm’s-length, but I’m a selfish person; aren’t I? I couldn’t be content with my own anguish by keeping her afar, could I?_

_No, of course not, because I must be some sort of fucking masochist. That’s what she’d always tell me, anyway. She’s probably right, but…_

_I made the mistake of pulling her in too close, and let myself choke on her. I let her get too close and I became claustrophobic._

_And I couldn’t get enough of her. I just couldn’t stop and I -_

_I just needed to **breathe**  again._

_I needed air again._

_And so, I took hers._

_Now, she will forever be at arm’s-length._

_One day, I know I will forget._

_Because I will forever have a soul that cannot be built **again**  from scratch like Hermione thought it could; so, why should a fragmented soul like mine need all five of their senses?_


	2. Dream

_Dear Diary,_

_I had a dream about you again._

_You were beautiful, standing there in my doorway in my t-shirt. I was immobile. I called for you, but you wouldn't step forward. I begged for you, but you wouldn't come to me. I reached for you, but the harder I would try, the further you would stretch away from me - impossible to reach. Impossible to touch._

_I needed you and you refused me. Again, and again, and again._

_But then, you stepped into my room. My body was being crushed by the weight of all my sins I have committed against you. It pushed me further and deeper into my mattress and I felt you circle my bedpost like an angel of death. I cannot say that you are an angel of mercy, because you've shown me none before. You still haunt me. I was supposed to forget. I was supposed to forget **you**._

_In my dream, you told me that I am Lucifer walking this Earth. You told me that I burn everything that I touch. You told me that I am a ruiner._

_You told me that I ruined you._

_It wasn't fair, what happened. **You**  aren't fair. I took a dreamless sleep potion again; and yet, here you are, infecting my mind like a disease. You are my own personal illness, aren't you?_

_I thought I would be rid of you, but I cannot ever be rid of you. Can I?_

_I asked you this, in my dream. I asked you how to be cured of you. I asked you how to be cured of this. And do you know what you told me, Hermione?_

_You told me that the antidote for my illness died with you._

_I will never be cured._

_I will never be freed._

_I will forever be **sick**._


End file.
